Happy Wednesday, friends. A couple of weeks ago I shared this on Instagram:
“Occasionally I let A get a Lunchable at the store…… And every time she gets the it out of the fridge the next day, she opens it and takes out the cookies and puts them on the counter until she’s eaten the rest…even when she has ample opportunity to eat them when I’m not looking. AND half the time she gives me one of them and tells me she wants to share with me. It’s moments like this that remind me that maybe I’m not screwing up this whole motherhood thing… There are so many moments and little morsels of goodness that say that I’m not and that she really does soak in the lessons we teach her. ???? // So mamas, take a moment to cue in today to your littles…I’m certain you’ll find the reassurance you need to know you’re doing an a-okay job at this lifelong gig we get to call motherhood.”
Mamas, sometimes motherhood is easy and sometimes it’s the tough – really tough. I remember when A was young looking at the feeds of other tired mamas saying that “motherhood was hard” and that “chaos had reached a new level of crazy in their homes“. I read this things unsure of what they could possibly be talking about because things were smooth sailing and I really couldn’t picture rough days. Even on nights where sleep was lacking, I couldn’t imagine it actually being considered legitimately tough.
You see, toddlerhood right now is a total whirlwind. I love my daughter something fierce and I’m constantly in awe of the tiny person she’s becoming but sometimes its a bit insane around here. One moment we are all going about our business enjoying every moment then wham! the rollercoaster of toddler-crazy comes rolling through the center of it all causing mass havoc because she wanted to do something that she never communicated wanting to do and we are in full on meltdown mode. She wanted to open that door, she wanted to get her brother the toy, she wanted to turn on the radio. We have foot stomping (thanks for that Daniel Tiger), fist clenching, and shouting in that moment making me wonder which time I took the wrong exit and she started that behavior. I mean, how could I have screwed up something that bad that she now does all of that. Then I realize that emotions are hard to understand for all of us, even as adults, and that tiny human I created is just now dabbling in trying to discover what all of those darn emotions mean – not to mention, I’m certain half the time she thinks that because she thought something in her head that it should just happen without speaking words. In those moments I find myself saying or thinking “oh sweet girl, this is so not worth your energy to be upset about. I promise you this.” Pushing boundaries and tantrums are totally normal at that age and I’m entirely grateful that my smart and thriving little girl is able to do those things. I really am.
With our fair share of those toddler crazy train moments, we have equally sweet moments that melt us into a big puddles of proud mama moments. And, it’s all usually within the same 15 minutes the tantrum happen. Roller.Coaster. I tell you.
Moments that make us realize that they are in fact listening to us, they are absorbing the big important things like please and thank you, and sweet gestures. Like the cookie story – it’s every single time she eats a lunch-able and it doesn’t even matter if she opens it herself when I am out of the room.
It’s when she sees her brother with bright eyes and a big sweet smile saying “Hi Bubba! I love you!”
Or the pure joy she had when she saw I made her two heart shaped banana muffins yesterday and she said “oh thank you mommy! That was so sweet” and gave me a big hug today.
Or yesterday when she asks daddy about his day and replies to something less than great with “oh, that’s too bad.”
Or how she told me “I’m sorry I made you upset mommy. It was just an accident” all because I sighed when the paint brush she tossed into the sink lost it’s tip into the drain and I had to fish it out.
When we step back and we look at both sides of the coin – the sweet and blatantly obvious things are kids are learning at their core to counterbalance the crazy moments that make you say “what did we do to make our child this emotionally unstable?!” – we find that all is not lost, mamas. We find that the core stuff is really setting in and the rest, well, it’s just a season of this life and it won’t last forever.
So mamas, I have a challenge for you. Step back today, even if you are in a season of more crazytrain days than it feels like you are proud mama moment days and really tune in. Tune in to your littles and I promise you, you will find sweet hope in something when you really take a moment. Because mamas, I promise you are doing a-okay and we are all in this together. I would love to hear these little discoveries below or tweet me on twitter!