Smart feeds and algorithms are going to fail us.
Follower counts and likes are going to fail us.
People will undoubtedly fail us, whether they intend to or not.
More importantly – the expectations we create in our heads that revolve around those things will cause even bigger disappointments, leaving us feeling failed even more than we should..
When we wrap our worth into what those things equal out to be, we are always going to come out of the other side a bit more disappointed than we should. We rob ourselves of joy we could be focusing on.
Even if the likes can be counted on one hand and the people don’t respond to our work like we hoped – we are still worthy. We don’t have to do anything at all to be worthy – every single one of us already is. It’s easy to get wrapped up into follower counts, page views and what we hoped an end result would be. It’s easy to set up expectations but it’s unfailingly hard to swallow the shortcomings when those things miss the mark.
When we are resting our worth within the desire to feel worthy and loved by others, we are failing ourselves. We are setting ourselves up for failure. Yet, when we are already know that we are worthy, whether it’s as a blogger, a writer, a creator of beautiful things – the rest just feels good. Once we really start embracing our gifts for what they are, for what we are being called to do and doing it all because we love it to our core, we arrive at the resting place of beautiful contentment.
When we check our expectations at the door, when we trust that our gifts will lead a life that they are meant to, we can start living a life without the chains we make for ourselves.
In the last years of having this space, I’ve risen and I’ve fallen. I’ve written for me and I’ve written because I felt like I was expected to. I’ve rebranded and moved and I’ve let fear take the reigns. I’ve let demands of page views shake me and rattle me into moments of doubt. Yet, the reality of things are that I have always found more peace here when I leave expectations at the door. It’s when I’ve stopped stressing about whether or not I post something based on if I have a pinnable image or not. It’s when I write here, create here and publish here for me.
You see, creating good food and creative projects and posting them here is really just for me with the perk that maybe someone will be led here and love those things too. Creating those posts challenges me to keep creating with my kiddos and making delicious food, too. Posting them here allows me to come back to them and look back on them in the future – an online record, so to speak. If my site inspires a mama to bring their kids into the kitchen, or make a new recipe that’s really great. If my posts on kids crafts give guidance or inspiration to a mama that feels like she doesn’t have creative bone in her body, yay for that!
When I write from my heart and when I’m sharing my love for things, places & my parenting thoughts – it’s because it’s on my heart to share those things right here and right now. My hope is that when someone is led here either by choice or by fate that maybe their find something that clicks with them and meets them where they are. I want my space to be like a doormat that reads hello, greeted with a hot cup of coffee and warm, welcoming conversation. A “I’m living in the mess of this life too, I’m meeting you where you are and here’s what works for me – it may for you too.”
No matter who this site influences or what the numbers looks like – I’m here because I make the choice to be, for me. I don’t want to lose sight of why I do this or get consumed in the numbers of “followers” (does anyone hate that term as much as I do?).
When I do lose sight of those things, when I do put my value into how many views or likes or followers I have, I lose sight of what really matters and I put my value in the wrong place. I get disappointed when that post I worked so hard on doesn’t get the views I hoped it would. I question if this space is worth it or if I should kept doing what I’m doing, instead of keeping my sight on why I’m doing it.
And then I remember that my voice is already worthy – that I am worthy. That maybe my voice isnt always meant to be heard by hundreds or thousands, maybe there’s a tiny handful that the message laid on my heart need to hear. And sometimes it’s just a message that I, myself, just need to hear – and that’s okay too.
