The past five weeks have been nothing short of vast sweetness. They have been filled with change, sweetness, baby snuggles, watching my baby girl become a big sister and my husband fall in love with our son. It’s been a change, it’s been different but it’s been so good. Welcoming B at the end of June was life changing in the best kind of way for all of us. There was a bit of transition for A but ultimately she welcomed her new brother with her arms open wide and embraced her new role of being a sister. Never was there any hesitancy from her when she met him and beyond. She loves him so much and it’s been a delight to see. She’s always by our side wanting to help with him, sweetly talking to him and offering him so much affection and love. She had a few moments of ultra neediness after we got home and not being able to hold her after my c-section was tough on both of us. She didn’t quite understand the reason why I couldn’t hold HER but I could hold her brother. I can’t blame her for that confusion, it was just as hard of my mama heart as it was on her, rest assured. Ryan spent a week at home with us while I was recovering at home which was great for all of us. Ryan and A got a lot of extra time together which made me thrilled to see. I’m so lucky to have a husband that loves me and our children so well. I was obviously very slow moving compared to normal that first week and he was always there to help me when I needed it.
B is an absolute delight. He’s easy, laid back and loves his snuggles. I joke that it’s because he has mercy for his mama knowing his sister is going through the terrific twos right now. Ha. He took to nursing like a champ and is growing so well in all areas. He loves being worn which has been great for us so I can always interact with the two kiddos and get other things done around the house. I feel like these early snuggles are so important to both B and I. Like I mentioned, he’s super laid back, hardly ever fussy and we are just beyond blessed with him. Being a mama for a second time has been so much easier to just do our thing and follow my intuition which I think has been easier all around for he and I, along with the general household. When you become a mom for the first time it’s so easy to let fears of “something you *hear* is best” creep in next to your intuition and second guess motherly instinct but this time around I’ve been much more confident in these early days about how we do things. I’ll save all of that topic for another post though because it’s played such a big part this time around.
The transition to two kiddos isn’t nearly as tough as we feared. There’s been a change around here in a lot of aspects that happened naturally like Ryan being the one to put A down at night these days and her finding the desire to sleep in her own bed for at least the first part of the night (cue the “my baby is growing up and doesn’t need me as much” mixed bag of mama emotions). I’m so proud of her in all the ways she’s taken so well to the changes of being a big sister and watching her mimic me with her own baby dolls is the sweetest. She’s the best babywearing, nursing, diaper changing and attentive two year old mama there is to her babies. Watching her is so sobering in seeing all things she is constantly watching us too. We hear her calming her babies or telling them “it’s okay baby, I’ll be right there!” among so many other sweet things to her babies.
During the day I am always making sure that I give A some one-on-one time during a time where B is asleep because I don’t want her to feel like things are completely different. I want to make sure she knows that I still very much love and value my time with just her. Some days it’s a shorter amount of 10 minutes but other times it’s much longer. Sometimes it’s making something in the kitchen, or making a craft, or simply play time. Ryan does the same with her in the evening. B gets one-on-one time with me during A’s nap usually or while Ryan is putting A to bed at night. I value that time so much with both of them. My time with A has been great for both of us and it’s so necessary for filling up her little love tank. With B, I just cherish these first moments so much because he’s 5 weeks and 3 days already and my goodness he’s growing so fast before my eyes already. Since he’s baby number two he doesn’t quite get the same one-on-one time with Ryan and I as A did, obviously, so making that effort and savoring that time is so, so important to me.
This last 5 weeks have just been so wonderful to me. With this sweet new season I took time away from all of my business related responsibilities and my blog. That time was so good for me to not have anyone but my family needing my attention. It’s given me so much clarity of where my heart really is on so many things and where I want to spend time and energy and where I don’t. It’s given me the time I needed to see where I want to let go and where I want to spend extra time which overall has made me feel so much lighter. I’m learning that just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I want to do it & run myself thin. I’ve learning that having pressures of what I think will make others happy isn’t as important as giving focus to what is right in front of me – the rest is just extra.
Aside from the newness of being a family of four and recovering from delivery life has been laid back around here. We survived our first experience with Ryan being away for work three weeks after having B. It was a bit different for all of us but it was a good, small stepping stone that he will be having to do in the not-don’t-distant future.
Miss A won an award for our local library’s summer reading program for being a top reader and we were so proud of her. That girl loves to rad books with us which is such a good thing. I find her “reading” books and I’m always surprised at how well she ends up summarizing the story. I shouldn’t be floored though because that girl is always blowing us away with how much she loves to learn. This summer she officially mastered all of her capital letters and most of her lowercase letters and she’s known 1-10 for a while alongside her shapes and her colors. It’s all happened pretty naturally because she just craves learning and once she masters something she just wants to do it again and again. I hope she always loves to learn as much as she does currently.
We took a day a couple weeks ago to drive up to the mountains and drive around while the kids slept then stopped for a picnic and to explore. It was nice to get some fresh mountain air and enjoy one another. Since I was two weeks out from my c-section we kept our exploring and hiking minimal, which was fine. It was just nice to get out and see some nature!
So right now, in this season of life, my heart is full, my shoulders are less heavy and I’m just so grateful for the life we have been blessed with – right here and right now.
