Am I the only one that has days where you have hundreds of hundreds of words that you want to write down? That keep rolling around in your head and it’s never at the opportune time or frankly, you can’t find the motivation to get up and write them down?
I have so much on my mind lately, so much on my heart.
But I haven’t been writing them here, I’ve been sorting it all out in my head and soaking it up the things I’m so grateful for and wrapping those positive happy things around me.
Sure, there are lots of things that I could say here, but lately when I sit down to write with the big orange publish button staring at me it’s easier for me to just keep the ideas inside my head instead of publishing.
I love to write.
I want this place to be a place where I come – not giving a care in the world who is reading my words, who’s making judgements – just to write.
Writing to me is freeing, I like to document this little life of ours, for goodness sake I’ve had this space for 6 years this year. Six years.
There’s a lot here.
There’s been a lot of transformation of the space, transformations that have grown with me, grown with our family.
Lately I haven’t been able to always find the words.
Finding the words to publish isn’t always the easiest.
Sure, the goal is to sit down and put one word after another and just write.
Just like when you ride a bike, one round of the petals at a time, then another round, and other.
Then suddenly you are riding quickly and you get the sense of freedom with the wind brushing across your face.
So that’s just it, I plan to put one word down, and then the next, and soon enough I’ll have a post, and then another – quickly continuing to fill up this space.
Truthfully, that’s what I want.
But I realize the words aren’t always going to come.
There are going to be days where I want to share the very depths of my heart in the space, telling you what makes me heart ache, what makes my heart overflow with joy.
Other days I am going to want to retract, sharing less of my heart and being more private.
That’s who I am.
Who I am is what this space is supposed to reflect.
This space isn’t meant to be filled with emptiness, but it’s also no meant to be only full of shallowness either (giveaways, reviews, etc.)
Sure those things are fun, but that’s not what I solely want this space to reflect.
There are brands and companies I love, so yes, I want to share those with you but I want to share myself with you too.
Truth be told – sometimes I worry about how much I write about things.
How much I love being a mama with all of my being.
Or how much I adore my handsome husband and look forward to the next 70+ years.
And how blessed I am for the two loves of my life.
How happy my heart is because of those two people in my life.
But then I worry that maybe it’s too much.
Maybe I should be writing about other things too.
Maybe I shouldn’t write about the inner-workings of my mama heart, five days a week.
Truth be told though, those two people – my Husband and Miss A – are the inner-workings of my heart.
Those things to make my heart sing so happy and gleefully.
And as I write this I realize how silly all of this sounds because
That’s what I intended this space to be for.
To reflect my heart.
As much as I love when readers stop by and say hello by leaving a comment or as much as I love a good load of post views, that really isn’t what this space is about.
It’s about me and why I blog.
Readers that are meant to read and come for the right reasons will stay, and those who aren’t will go, and truth be told, that’s OK too.