As you can see there have been some big changes that have happened around here.
Yep I finally figured out how to do it while I was laying in bed last night unable to sleep, so today instead of being productive and working like I probably should have been (hey – I did get a couple hours in)- I did it 🙂 Â
I love fall, but the other layout wasn’t me. at all.
It was loud, and crazy and cluttered.
If Ryan read this post, he would tell you that I’m cluttered so he doesn’t know how that “isn’t me”.
But that’s another story.
Have you heard to expression “If your Why doesn’t make you Cry then it isn’t strong enough?”Â
The blogs I love the most, the ones I admire the most are the real, honest, raw blogs that aren’t afraid to talk about the tough stuff, that aren’t afraid to through together laughter and tears, love and loss, the truth that sometimes finances are tight, that they believe in God.
The blogs I love the most, the ones I admire the most are the real, honest, raw blogs that aren’t afraid to talk about the tough stuff, that aren’t afraid to through together laughter and tears, love and loss, the truth that sometimes finances are tight, that they believe in God.
I’ve been doing some soul searching lately.
I’ve hit this place in my life where I just need to breathe, step back and look at things a different way.
I think we all come to this point during one point of our lives or another really.
As human beings we are constantly evolving and adapting to our surrounding and within ourselves. It’s inevitable, change is inevitable.
One of the things that I have realized during this – is this blog.
Change has to happen here.
I think that I used to be a lot more raw, honest and real before I had followers. Honestly.
When I had no one that had this blog address, it was myself in my own little world with my thoughts. No one read them. I’m a sensitive person, and I’m also a “people pleaser”. I don’t like making waves, I don’t like offending people, I don’t like conflict. And I think that is why I have veered away from some things on this blog. “Maybe it will offend someone.” “Maybe they will leave me a rude comment.” “Maybe I’ll lose followers.” Silly thoughts really. Because as much as I love my followers, I know that it really doesn’t matter, because  the truth is, although my followers are what keeps me going, that isn’t the reason I blog
-it can’t be.
-it can’t be.
A couple of weeks ago when I decided to go through my life with a fine toothed comb I wrote this:
“I’ve discovered a harsh realization. After weeks of being stagnant and brutally unbalanced – I’ve realized the root of the problem. I feel lost, and off track within myself. There are obvious things that I know are completely and udderly correct – my marriage, my love for Ryan and eagerness for our future. But I feel lost within myself, and knowing who I am.”
This is kind of a broad statement as it’s a small snippet of what  I wrote but what I am meaning is more around the things I’m supposed to be doing, my purpose here, and what direction I am going and the woman I am becoming. Â
The person I am here, is different than I am in person.
In person, I’m a little shy but I’m bold, and I’m open. I’m the person that is a pretty open book.
I’m the person that has no problem telling someone when they ask if we are going to have kids soon saying “We aren’t trying , but we’re not, not trying.”
I’ve never said that here. Because for whatever reason I have been more selective.
Here I have become more detached, which is the opposite of my goal, my purpose for my goal.
My blog is out for the world to see, so I feel like it’s time to be real. honest. raw. and give the best of me.
In person, I’m a little shy but I’m bold, and I’m open. I’m the person that is a pretty open book.
I’m the person that has no problem telling someone when they ask if we are going to have kids soon saying “We aren’t trying , but we’re not, not trying.”
I’ve never said that here. Because for whatever reason I have been more selective.
Here I have become more detached, which is the opposite of my goal, my purpose for my goal.
My blog is out for the world to see, so I feel like it’s time to be real. honest. raw. and give the best of me.
That is what I created this blog for after all.
I’m done apologizing.
So this is the start. The beginning of a new start here at the ol’ blog.
Hi Kristina. I can so relate with this post, because I am very much a people pleaser and would hate to upset anyone! You’ve made a brave decision there, and I shall look forward to reading your ‘new look’ blog posts.
Bring it. You know that I can handle the truth, Kristina. A blog is anything that you want it to be at this moment. You might change your mission statement a hundred times but so what? Your real friends won’t care. They’ll be right here. I gained two followers in the past few days but then lost two in a single day. It had me second guessing myself. Did my dark subject matter scare people away? It’s a waste of time to analyze it. If I have just a few good friends I’ll be happy… as long as Ms. Kanorado is one of them!
You are so beautiful and creative! I love the new blog! It’s pretty awesome! I just made some changes to my food one that I just got up and running.
Starting over stinks but it opens the door for some pretty awesome ideas and new starts!
Great look Kristina! You go girl!
you are awesome, this new look is awesome, and most importantly, these special, sweet words are awesome. being true to yourself is one of the hardest (seems so simple!) things to do. i recently turned down an offer to guest post because the other blogger wanted to take out my section on my faith and love of Jesus. no way, hosey! we are who we are and embracing it (and often, defending it) is so important. kudos to you, sweet friend. i for one, am excited to follow along:)
Totally agree with you lovely! Don’t work on ‘portraying’ yourself to us, just write whatever the hell you want and i’m sure we’ll love it!
x
Yeah, I hear you on this one! I also am very similar to you in a lot of ways. I admire and read blogs that are real and then I read others that are just fun to read. I like them both so I’m both. Go with what you like, feel, etc. and you will love your blog. I have deleted so many honest hearted-posts, afraid of letting stranger enter the real me, but hey, I think the blog world is full of understanding and decent human beings. The few that are not won’t last in this blog world. 🙂
I can relate to censoring yourself on your blog. I do it on mine all the time. The heavy stuff gets posted when I just can’t keep it in anymore. Being lost? Feeling that way now myself. And tight finances? I can’t believe I ever complained about money before now. Between Husband’s tuition and preparing for baby, I don’t think we’ve ever pinched pennies like we are right now. Not fun, but I know it’s worth it in the end.
We need to do coffee or something sometime, lovely.
Also loving the new layout!
Hope your new start to blogging goes REALLY well and you find new ways with connecting with new people!! Thanks so much for linking up with The Bartering Blogger and for putting up my button. I really appreciate it!
I have been thinking about this post alot, ever since you posted the words. This took a lot of courage to do, being real and raw is tough stuff. And you inspire me by going for this goal.
PS- As your blogging friend, nothing you say could make me run. I love coming back each week.
PPS-your pics are darling!
I can’t wait to see how things unfold!!!! There are so many wonderful women in the blogging community it’s just a matter of time before you finally REALLY connect with some new people 🙂 I’m so excited for you!!