I used to read about other women and moms having “tribes”, or groups of other women & friends, that carried them along life. They would share stories about how every woman should have that tribe of women, how vitally important it is to have one and not walk through life alone. I had friends but not a “tribe”, I had friends I talked to, my husband and some family members. But a tribe? Nada.
I used to be a bit distraught over this and had told God many times about how I was convinced this was a made up thing because never had I experienced things like this. I was convinced that no one other than my husband was necessary and that was okay. I was content enough that I wasn’t a tribe kind of gal and that was that.
In the past several months though, my thoughts and opinions on this have shifted a bit. New friends didn’t fall from the sky, I didn’t suddenly have a bunch of local friends. In fact, I still have no local friends here in Colorado. No new friends have really come and gone but God has done some shifting of my mindset of what a tribe of friends looks like and I realize I do have a tribe of women.
God has done some heart work allowing me to let more friends in, instead of pushing them out.
I thought a tribe of women meant you had to sit around and have play dates. You get together around each other’s kitchens and drank wine or coffee either while the kids played or while you soak up time of not being accompanied by children. All I knew is this was not going on in my current life and therefore I must not have a tribe of women.
My idea was wrong. My tribe of women do exist.
A tribe – my tribe, your tribe – it’s the women that show up for you whether they are next door or they are 1800 miles away. You don’t have to live in the same state and sit around one another’s kitchens (goodness what I wouldn’t give to do that with these sweet girl friends of mine though). It’s about more than that. They are the people you share life with no matter where they are. You listen to one another, you support one another, you lean on one another, and you show up for one another every chance you get.
Some of these gals I talk to literally every single day. Others I talk to once a month. But we do life along side one another. We show up when the other one needs us and that’s a pretty big deal. For that, I am grateful.
Some of these friends I share the mundane boring day to day things with and they share theirs with me. Others pop in for the big things like when they need big opinions or have big news – but they all play a role and they all show up. They care about my family, the listen to dilemmas, pray big prayers for us, rejoice on big new, empathize with the not so great.
Like I said previously, this didn’t happen overnight. It took me getting real with myself, giving a good look around at the ladies that are there – really there – and a look at myself. I had to give myself a real look because I’m sometimes a wall builder. It’s easier to keep others out because it’s less vulnerable but when we let our walls down and let it’s worth it.
To my tribe of girls, who just might be reading this – thank you, I appreciate you. Thanks for showing up.