In March Ryan and I celebrated 10 years since our first date. Oh how different life is now ten years later. We’re older and we’re wiser and we’ve learned some tough lessons throughout the years. We’ve got a house, two cats, two dogs and two babies. We also have a lot more love and history than the 10 years ago…and in this current season of life…we have a lot less dates. In the last three and a half years since becoming parents we have gone on two dates. One was a corporate Christmas party in 2014 and one was out to dinner the week before we had B last June.
It isn’t that we don’t want to go on dates, it’s more that we know that in this season it’s not something we get to do much of. I nursed A for the first couple years of her life and now I’m nursing B. Neither of our babies took to a bottle, both have flat out refused which makes dates nearly impossible. Here’s the thing though – Ryan is my very best friend and my all time favorite person to spend time with. When we get to set aside time to spend with one another the axis of our world spins a bit better. We are both happier and invested more in our life & the environment around us because we have been invested in ourselves.
It’s so easy to get caught up in this season of life with our littles and Ryan and I are both fully aware that one day not too far from now we are going to miss the times our children needed us so much. We’re both on the same page about that but we also know how vital it is that we connect and make time for each other. One day many years from now, our children will be grown and we will be left with an empty nest. We’ve talked about this all before and the last thing we want is to look at each other feeling like we are a couple of strangers that just did life together for the last season of parenting and are now left unsure of what to do with our empty nest or the stranger we share it with.
We want to do life with each other entirely and enjoy one another all the way through it. Part of that means investing in each other and never losing grasp of one another. One thing we try to do is date each other even if it means having a post bedtime date or a nap-time date without leaving the house. Yes, you can date each other without leaving your house. But how?
Datebox has made it ridiculously easy to do fun and spontaneous dates without even leaving the house which is perfect for parents like Ryan and I where going on regular dates outside of the home just isn’t practical. When we had just A, we would do a fun weekly date with a pecan pie and talk about life which was a lot of fun. Once we had B, our dates started to happen occasionally but truth be told, we kind of got pretty bad about them. With Datebox we get to do something fun when we have time. It’s not a date on the calendar and we can do it when we have time.
This last month we got our box around the 18th of March and got to it the first weekend of April and that’s okay. It was sitting there waiting for us filled with a fun activity that we probably never would have thought to do ourselves. Your Datebox it comes with everything you need plus a Spotify playlist to listen to and a booklet about your relationship with conversation topics.
By the grace of God both of our kids napped at the same time and for two hours(!!!). I’m not even kidding you, our minds were blown and we needed that time to do something fun together. We got all of our date set up and whipped out of selfie stick for some extra fun like old times. We had so much fun together talking about life and going through the questions that came in the booklet in the box. We had no stress and just thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. Aside from our picture taking, our phones were put aside so we were just invested in each other with no other distractions. We went through the questions and laughed about old memories and learned new things about each other. We were surprised at how fun the questions were because even after ten years there were still things to learn about each other which was so refreshing and fun. We took fun and silly pictures together just like we did all those years ago before kids and even though most of them are blurry and grainy (I can’t hold out that selfie stick without shaking apparently). I know that these are some photos we are going to love for a long time. Why? Because it’s just him and I spending time with each other, being ourselves and that’s worth cherishing any day of the week.
Not only is dating good for Ryan and I to enjoy one another, I think it’s great for our kids to see us do too. When A woke up, she thought it was neat that mommy and daddy painted pictures together and we even surprised her with letting her have a cake pop. We want our kids to see us have a marriage that reflects how much we love each other and genuinely enjoy doing life together. Never do we want our kids to think we are just going through the motions, being their parents together because we should. I want to model a marriage that I didn’t have modeled for me (more on that in another post). I want them to see their parents and look forward to having their own happy and thriving marriage years down the road because they see what that looks like. I want them to look back at their childhood and be able to say “our parents really loved each other fiercely and had fun doing life together.”
Do you and your spouse date? In or out of the house?
Want to try out Datebox? Use Code: SMITTEN25 for 25% off any box subscription option! Order by the last day of the month to get your box the next month!