When we bought our house we knew the Carpet needed replaced and we decided we would put new carpet in the living room & bedrooms, then lay hard surface floors in the kitchen, dining room and hallway. Ryan worked that week and A & I were at the new house preparing it to move into the next weekend.
The floors were supposed to be easy. The floors were supposed to take one day, or maybe two max.
They weren’t easy and they took 4.5 days to lay.
Things didn’t line up, our walls are crooked, gaps under baseboards varied leaving extra cuts, pieces tossed into the “oops” pile and my patience having something to be desired.
After laying the kitchen, and dining room I was working on the hallway.
Cut, click, snap. Cut, click, snap. Cut….gah! What is wrong with this stupid house. Recut, finagle, let out a frustrated sigh…
As I sat there frustrated and feeling defeated from the flooring, as well as, the mom guilt pouring over me that my toddler was fending for herself watching Winnie the Pooh and eating too many whole wheat goldfish and all natural fruit snacks – I searched for a lesson. There had to be something I was supposed to be learning, and there I gained a moment of clarity. The clarity wasn’t about the flooring, it was bigger than that – it was about life.
It was there that everything made sense to me about life; about how sometimes no matter how much we wish or pray for something it just doesn’t happen in the timing that we want. Sometimes there’s an obstacle we can’t see making all of the pieces unable to just “click together” like we think they should. The hidden obstacles make us try to finagle our own plans and lofty ideas into timeframes and spaces that aren’t meant to be in that moment or the way we think they should be. You see, we can’t see the big picture not matter how much we try. I believe there is a reason for everything that things are mapped out and even though things can leave us disappointed in hindsight things eventually become clearer. God sees the struggle, our frustration and our tears but He also sees the curves in the road ahead, the “whys” and the victories. He sees the full puzzle when we are only seeing a few pieces that aren’t fitting together right at that very moment.
We’ve experienced it time and time again when we try and force what should be and the timing isn’t right. We’ve tried to rush home buying, or job hunting or even building a family only to leave us frustrated and feeling defeated – just like I did with our floors. But in His time those pieces fell together and wowed us and the struggle was worth it. And we were never in it alone.
We finished our floors and I made it down that darn hallway, frustration tears and all but I didn’t finish the floors alone. I sat in the bathroom laying the last few pieces at my breaking point knowing the next day the carpet was being laid and the floors had to be done. My frustration was at it’s peak and I ready to just be done. This was my project, it was supposed to be done. I told Ryan I could get it finished in time but he insisted he could take it from there, I had done enough, he said. And there I surrendered my frustration and handed it over because he was right – I didn’t have to do it alone. I had him, he could help me even if I felt like I had to do it myself I didn’t have to. That’s what the whole marriage thing is about – having that one person to share life’s weight with – the heartache and frustrations, as well as, the victories and celebrations.
Looking back at the floors they were worth it. The compliments poured in, our refinance appraisal was worth celebrating and I learned a new perspective that made things even more worth it.
Struggle comes when timing isn’t right because we can’t see the things fighting against us. Sometimes we have to reroute and do it a little different than we planned and sometimes it takes longer. I’m so grateful I don’t have to take life by the horns alone and I won’t ever have to.