Alright you scrapping female lobsters, lets have a chat.
Remember when I posted about wanting to be a Male Lobster? If not, read that post here.
Short version:
Male Lobsters help each other out of a boiling pot of water if the lid is off.
Female Lobsters see one of the other lobsters climbing out of the pot they pull her back in with the rest of them.
So if you cook male lobsters you have to have the lid on, for female lobsters, you don’t.
So what does that have to do with this post and all the scrappers out there?
I’ll tell you.
Recently I have seen two different posts by fellow lady bloggers both involving self image and self esteem. One of these bloggers was talking about how after having multiples she had a very hard time with self image and that other females weren’t helpful because they just brought her down instead of teaching her that it’s OK to be curvy, you are still beautiful. I read this post by her and she had said that she recently learned to embrace the curves and that she was beautiful. I loved reading that. Then I got down to the comments.
Holy Canole friends.
Ladies – our gender sucks in the harshest of ways. Instead of telling her how amazing it was that she is learning to love herself…there were all kinds of brutal comments that she shouldn’t embrace being curvy because she was unhealthy, and that if she needed people to tell her that she was beautiful she had self esteem problems. And honestly, she ended up leaving the blog world because of the harshness.
Does this break your heart like it does mine?
What on earth is the point of pushing each other down?
The other post I read gave me a little more hope for our gender and that we aren’t always brutal and harsh. It was about how a blog friend of mine is having body issues and loving herself after having two boys and that she was taking photos of herself her husband and that she deleted about 98% of them because she didn’t feel sexy like she did before having babies. When I commented on the post there was only positive comments, telling her how she was beautiful was and that there was no doubt that her husband felt the same way because he loves her.
Finally! some encouragement, some ladies telling another female to love herself.
It had me thinking about it though…the difference in the posts was this: the first one was saying that she was learning to love herself for how she was and that she’s beautiful – and she got brought down brutally telling her terrible harsh things for loving herself. The second post was about one having a hard time loving herself and she got encouragement that she needs to love herself.
So….please explain this to me friends, explain why this has to happen?
If someone doesn’t love themselves we encourage them to, but when someone does love themselves the goal is to bring them back down to the point that they don’t?
I don’t know about you but that brings the exact imagery into my mind of what the female lobsters do.
It goes past the body image issues, I have also seen way to much mama bashing online lately too.
Mamas getting angry that other mamas go above and beyond and make the “themselves” look bad. Some mamas judging other mamas about how they parent, how they do things because it’s not how “they” would.
What the hell happened to “Treat others how you want to be treated?” Isn’t that what we have be taught since children and we teach our own children? Does that just go out the window when we are adults?!
How about we embrace one another for who we are, encourage ourselves to only love ourselves not hate ourselves and realize that every mama parents different and it doesn’t mean that its right or wrong, it means that we are all different. Don’t we thrive to be different from one another? Aren’t we supposed to embrace it?
How about instead of the hate we all realize that we are all in this together, we are all swimming upstream and all struggle because friends, we are human. And if we don’t have something nice to say to someone else, keep that mouth shut.
Because friends, I don’t know about you but as a mama to a little girl all I want to teach that sweet girl of mine is that she is beautiful, and perfect exactly how she is.
