I remember the exact moment that I knew I would spend the rest of my life with Ryan.
It was March of 2006, and we had spent the evening together on our first official date where we saw me a movie and had our first kiss. I dropped him off with his friends and pathetically cried because I was leaving back to Kansas the next morning, I knew he was something special, and I cried that I had to leave. I had never cried over a guy that early in my life.
That Spring Break I was working on a memory/inspiration book filled with quotes, photos, words that I loved. So, naturally I copied it into word, printed it out and pasted it in my book. The book has since been replaced, but that page is now the front piece in my leather bound journal along with this photo of him holding my sister at the zoo
The moment his words came across my messenger screen, my heart felt – complete.
I knew, he was it.
In just those few words, my heart knew.
It had a certainty that I had never been familiar with before. And it was more than the young, twitterpated kind of feeling that came with butterflies – that’s not the feeling I am talking about.
I’m talking about the “your heart is home. it belongs here” kind of contentment that doesn’t just come by chance, or happen really more than once. The kind of knowingness that came with those words that put him into my heart – in stone – in a kind of way that only God could do. The contentment that came was only the kind that you can find thanks to God himself. I knew. That day, that Ryan would be the one that I would spend the rest of my life with no matter the challenges, he would be the one who would be the father to my children. And to be frank, I have never been so certain of anything else in my life, like I was in that moment, and still am today.