Joyfully Smitten

Living Life wth Full Hearts and Messy Hands. Encouraging Moms to get hands on with their children and embrace life right where they are.

By

On Living Life.

As most of you read my post about the tragedy being less than 15 minutes away from my house,  and all of you have heard the tragedy all across the news. The tragedy that has been now called “the largest mass shooting in US History” (via CBS News).  The tragedy has left most of us with hurt in our hearts for the victims and their families knowing they have a pain in their hearts that most all of us will never understand.

The past few days I have played the situation in my head, just based on what I have heard in the media and from those who had experienced it reported. What if’s have poured out of my mind, as unhealthy as that might be.
What if we were into going to midnight showings?
What if we had been there, in that theater?
Would we have sat where we normally sit, in the middle, and a few rows down from the top? And if we did sit there would we have been safe there?
Would we have had time to hit the floor?
What if someone we knew we didn’t make it, or was hurt?
What if we had been there and it was one of us?

I recently read this post by Ashley at The Shine Project.
The post genuinely brought me to tears, not only because of the tragedy and the hurt I can only imagine those who knew him feel, but because of the beautiful words written about him.
Written about the type of person that he was, highlighting his character, his personality traits, the heart he had.
There are so many things that Ty says about Alex that strikes me to the core.
Reading the words written by Ty, his best friend, one of the closest people to him, and honestly it touched every bit of my soul. Reading about Alex, made you wish you could have met him, makes you want a friend just like him, and it makes you think about yourself.
After reading the post I immediately began to think.
Not about the What If’s that had been bouncing around in my head for days, but more in the light of
“What if something happened to me? What would someone closest to me write about me, my character, my personality traits, the way I lived my life, the way I loved those around me, my heart?”
Would they talk about the love that I have for Ryan, that undesirable, irreplaceable love? Do I show it as much as I think I do?  Does it radiate from my core, like I think that it does?
Would they talk about my heart for being a mother? My longing desire?
What about my desire to be there for those around me, not always those deserving, but those who share a part of my heart because it’s the right thing to do?
Would the good that my life has had outweigh the bad?
Would they talk about my love for God, and that although I wasn’t much of an evangelist, I would be there to talk about Him, share my heart for Him?

I have never lived a perfect life, none of us do.
I know this.
I’m not perfect, I never will be, nor will anyone else.
But reading the post about someone else’s life, and the beauty they brought to those around them radiates within me, and stirs my heart.

And makes me want to be an even better person, for those around me.
Because there will always be room for improvement.

 

  • But you weren’t there…and how grateful I am, for one, that you weren’t.

    I hear of these tragedies and pray for those that were affected and hurt and who lost their lives. I also thank God that my family, friends and myself were not a part of it or affected as they were.

    I am so sorry for the people’s lives that were taken due to this tragic event {for a lack of better words}

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