Like I said in my last post, my Granddad Gist took a turn for the worst, and past away last month. The whole experience of him dying was one that changed my life forever. I experienced something I have never experienced before, and it was life changing. I have lost three friends and my great grandmom Faye, and I’ve lost some pets, but being there from pretty much the moment I arrived in Kansas, til the time he finally let go, I was there, experiencing it all. I cried quite a bit, especially when I saw him when I first got there, but yet although the room was full of crying people, not a tear fell from his eyes. He just sat there, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and told me how I had his brown eyes and his good looks. He knew that it was his time and that even though he was unfortunate to be so sick, he was so blessed that he was finally going “Home”, his composure and strength was phenomial. When his time came, it was on his own time, and he waited until everyone was there, everyone was there to say goodbye, and the moment was so right. Everyone was around his bedside touching him, and all others were in the hall on the way to the room. Initially it was sad but then there was a feeling of calm, contentment, and relief that filled everyone. It was like Granddad Gist came over all of us, embracing us telling it was OK and that he was finally “Home.” The one thing that touched my heart I think the most, was the night before he finally went Home, and we were all sitting in the room, and he wanted to have a Shake, and Dad left in an instant to get him that. Dad, needed sometime and took a little longer than expected and when he returned we could not wake Granddad up, and I have never seen my dad so torn and broken down in my life. We all were sitting in the room, and crying that this could be it, and the one thing my dad said to him while he was sleeping was, “You better not disappoint me damnit, you better wake up one last time.” A couple hours later, I was sitting in the chair, and I saw his eyelids open, and I said, “everyone he is awake.” Everyone went to his bedside, and Dad told him that he loved him and he said, “I love you too.” My dad is the only one in the room that got a reply when he told him that he loved him. It was absolutely moving. I spoke at the Memorial, Uncle Kurt suggested it, and I volunteered to do it. It was like something came upon me, and told me that it was what I was meant to do. I couldn’t think of a thing to say though. I thought for the couple days I had before it, but I could not think of a word, but something told me to trust myself and it would come to me. It came to me the morning of, and it turned out better than I expected, so that was a plus. Its on tape, but I don’t plan on listening to it, since we all know that I criticize myself a ton. 🙂 Anyways, it was an honor. Another wonderful thing that happened in Kansas, is going through everything with the family, I feel so much closer to them. I met my Aunt Linda for the first time, and my lord, is she a wonderful, warm hearted, funny woman. I spent every evening until like 2 a.m. with her and my Aunt Shelly and we just had one hell of a time. I don’t think I could have had anymore fun…seriously! Some nights was a little crazy but overall a blast. In the short time I spent with my Aunt Linda though, I fell like I have known her for years!!! Its absolutely insanity! Aunt Shelly and I are a lot closer too, we talk several times a week, typically on text and it always makes my day. And then my dad, I feel closer than him too, I think its partly because I experienced a side of him, I never had before, and I think that he realized him and I have a lot more in common that he thought. Ha ha ha. Because like he would have, I dropped what I had going to drive to Kansas, all night long, to be there for my Granddad, and for him, and I would do it again in a heart beat. As I am stting here writing about this experience, tears are pouring from my eyes as if I am reliving it again, but yet its like I can feel him here with me, tell me not to cry but my lord, I can’t help it.